Today’s Prompt: Six Sentence Story. In this day of micro-blogging – brevity is a skill worth honing. Can you tell a story and make it short and sweet? What can you say in six sentences. Check out some here: http://sixsentences.blogspot.com/
Wendy walked toward the ruins of the mission. She saw him standing by the entrance waiting with a smile. Once he took her hand she had no doubts, this was the man she would spend the rest of her life with. She saw in his eyes he felt the same way about her. They walked down the aisle together, a new future unfolding before them.
Prompt for today….Personify your health. If your health focus were a person – what would they be like? Describe them. Visually, emotionally, physically, and personality-wise. What kind of person are they?
I’m again using one of the Bonus Prompts. I liked this one more than the original prompt. However, once again, I took a different take on it. Recently I made a mask showing what I looked like on the outside to most people, and then on the inside I showed my true self. I felt this answered all the questions put forth in this prompt, but with a little creative flair.
Some of you have already seen this, but I think it’s worth repeating, and for those who haven’t, I hope you enjoy!
This is not the post I’d planned to write, but life has thrown me for a loop so I’m telling it all….
On Thursday it was a beautiful day. The weather was perfect with temperatures in the 70′s F, and clear skies; an amazingly gorgeous day for the second day of February. I decided to take a drive for the first time since June. I haven’t had vertigo for over a month so why not? I went to a small town just north of us, it wasn’t a long drive and I chose that route because there is very little traffic on the road. The top was down in my little car, and I had a blast! What a milestone!!
Not so good - we went to our ASL (American Sign Language) class Thursday night. This was our second class. I’m not sure I’ll go back. I keep telling the teacher and the students I’m hard of hearing. I’m so very lost in the class because i can’t hear what’s going on. If Stuart tries to tell me what I’ve missed then he misses something. I was so upset, I teared up 3 times, and came very close to just walking out. To explain some of my frustration,, we have exercises where we each say things in sign language. Then the teacher will call on someone to translate what the person said, I couldn’t hear what the person was saying so I have no idea if I understood what the person was saying in sign language. (note, this is just one example). I do not see how I’m going to get anything out of this class. Stuart is going to write the teacher. One huge problem, they allowed too many people in the class. So there are 16 people in there and I’m the only one who is hard of hearing. I feel so isolated and sad. The one place I thought would be more understanding, and help me, is simply ignoring my needs.
Friday I had slosh head all day, and was afraid I was catching a cold. The weather had changed, and we had cleaners come in on Thursday (I’m sure they kicked up a lot of dust), so I wasn’t that worried about it. Probably just barometric pressure change and allergies. Yesterday, I had minor slosh head, better than the day before, still didn’t think much of it since it was now raining. We decided to go out and do some things. When we were in Earth Fare (a small healthy grocery store), I turned to look at Stuart and the world spun around. I tried to brush it off as a little disequilibrium but couldn’t. We went to the little cafe they have so I could get something to drink and take my pills. I sat for a little bit but things were not getting better, I had the overwhelming desire to curl up on the floor. We hurried and bought our little bit of groceries and headed home. Once in the car I was still feeling horrible and got Stuart to search around for something I could throw up in if I needed to. I then took another Valium. I don’t normally take them so close together, but we had a 25 – 30 minute drive home, and I did not want to have a severe attack in the car! Wonders upon wonders it worked. When we got home I was still pretty off but I knew the worst was not going to happen.
** some of the following may be too graphic for some readers.
Today I was just waking up and stretching when I felt my husband kissed me. A pretty nice way to wake up huh? The first thing I really noticed was how loud the tinnitus was. My head was still a bit sloshy, and today it was also screaming at me. Since I was a bit off, Stuart made me some breakfast and brought it up to me. (oh, I have to admit he does this a lot any way…what a guy!). After breakfast I felt exhausted and thought perhaps I should sleep a bit more. I put my sleep mask on and started to doze, suddenly I felt like I was moving. Stuart walked in the room and I told him, he grabbed me some pills. I had to go to the bathroom. He helped me there and left, but I ended up having to call for him to help me. I couldn’t stand, pull up my undies, or anything. He rushed in and helped me and nearly carried me to the bed. By then I was in full spin. I grabbed a second Valium (it worked the day before!) and Stuart helped with a Phenergan suppository. *ick*
I kept trying to focus on one spot but the spot kept moving around and around…I was getting sicker by the moment. I was nauseous, but hadn’t had the tell-tell sign of the extreme heat that usually precedes the vomiting. Oh…but the diarrhea….I knew it was going to blow if I could make it to the bathroom or not. I also knew if I moved my head enough to get up and go to the bathroom I was going to start throwing up. What to do? I was getting pretty upset by this point…all the chanting of affirmations and envisioning myself as a tree with strong roots that cannot be moved were not working…I was starting to panic.
My dearest darling husband created the portable bed pan (a trash can with a liner) once again, like he did when I was stuck in bed for a week after surgery not able to raise my head. So I scooted my butt off the bed over the trash can, keeping my head very level…and exploded! Oh my gosh, I had no idea that was going to happen. Sometimes the suppository makes me really feel like I have to go, but it just dispels what’s left of the suppository and a little bit more. This was gross. I was so embarrassed and just completely grossed out. I kept apologizing and crying a bit. After that ended, the vertigo started to subside.
Stuart was so wonderful. He told me he’d much rather deal with the bed pan situation, than for me to throw up. He said it’s so much easier on my body. And he’s right, but the diarrhea in the make shift bed pan, and having to have him clean me up…that’s much higher on the embarrassment scale. I guess I just need to get over that, and I’m so grateful I have a husband that will do anything to help me feel better. He’s very right though, the vomiting is terrifying, and much more painful. So I’ll swallow the embarrassment I guess.
I’m still slosh headed, and feeling a bit wonky. I’m exhausted, have napped a bit on and off, but I keep waking up feeling worse.
When we walked out of the store yesterday, with Stuart helping me hobble to the car, I said to him, “Well, the surgery is supposed to make the vertigo 70 – 90% better, they never said it was gone.” Very stoic of me, holding it all together. However, once we were in the car and on the way home, I broke down. I thought about how I drove just 2 days earlier, what if this had happened then? I thought about how all I wanted to do in that store was curl up on the floor and pray for the room to stop. What if I had been alone? I feel like every time I feel I’ve made an advancement and can make some plans, the floor falls out from under me.
Even more reason to live every day as it comes! I do not regret my drive, and I wasn’t far from home. If I had gotten sick, I would have pulled the car off the road and called for help. I would have handled it! If I had been at the store alone…well, that would have been more difficult. I probably would have taken my pills and left the groceries. Gone to the car and called for help. I’d rather be alone in my car dealing with this than in a public place. I may worry, but I’m confident if the worst happens I will be able to handle it.
If I could feel the way I have since New Year’s Eve Eve, December 23rd, minus the migraines, I would be very happy!
Every day for the past….I don’t know how many…days I’ve woken up with a migraine. Most days I can take something, and it ebbs enough that I can do something, often I have to take something numerous times a day, but at least it has been tolerable after taking the medication. Unfortunately, one of my medications, I can only get 18 a month, so if I have to take 2 a day to help with the headaches they won’t last very long. My doctor said we need to wait 3 months after surgery to start trying new treatments for the migraines. We need to see what this will do first. One month down! Just two more to go! (this is the first day since the 30th, that I have spent the day in bed. My head hasn’t eased up much today, for a little bit here and there…like now..but most of the day I’ve spent in darkness with a warm hat on my head (I found this helps, I don’t know why), trying to sleep as much as possible.)
New Year’s Eve is usually very hard for me. As I’ve mentioned before my mother’s birthday was New Year’s Day, and it hits me hard. I still miss her terribly. This year, Stuart asked a couple if they’d like to join us, hoping it would help me get through the rough time, and make things happier. But I woke up with a migraine from Hell. I couldn’t stand any light, I was nauseous, and I just wanted to scream! So we felt we should cancel early, just in case the pain didn’t subside, giving our friends time to make other plans. Luckily, after much medication, I felt better. My headache wasn’t gone, but it never is, however, it was much better.
I decided to try to work in my studio a bit. Something I haven’t done in months. yay, for milestones! I got part of my mask painted, thank you Judy, I’m thinking about both my inner face and outer face while working on it. (if you’d like to know more about this please visit Judy’s blog, Creativity to the Max.)
We decided to have a special dinner that night, one we didn’t have to cook. So when Stuart went to pick our dinner up, I decided to make it very special. I set the table all pretty, and put candles on it. I even got pretty myself. I put on a skirt and nice top, and even makeup! Stuart was VERY surprised! And I have to say, I think that was the best steak I’ve ever had! We haven’t done anything like this in a long time. It was very romantic.
It was still 6 hours until midnight, so we thought we’d start a puzzle. We worked on it for about an hour, then I started to get too sore, and my headache was getting worse. So we headed upstairs, I took some more meds, and we watched a movie. By midnight I was feeling good again, and a bit frisky. (hehehe) We were watching and waiting for the ball to drop, and I started coming on to my husband….one thing led to another, and we rang in the new year with the Big “O”! Yes, it hurt, but it was so worth it! We did elevate my hips a bit, and it helped with the hip pain! Yay. (Milestone number 2!) Now, that helped me emotionally too!
On New Year’s Day it was 65F degrees here. I knew that temperatures like this would not last long, so I had to get out of the house. We needed something from the grocery store, so off we went to Whole Foods. I thought we could get the gluten free bread I like there, but nope. Every time I go to Whole Foods I’m disappointed. We started to go to the store we know has it, but it’s more than a 30 minute drive, and I was hungry and getting tired. We stopped to eat to see if I’d then feel like going, the food was good, but I didn’t feel well afterward. I don’t know what I’ve been getting into lately, but I’ve been having GI symptoms a lot!
We were both tired, and I wasn’t feeling great, so our New Year’s meal would have to wait. I can’t have Hoppin’ Johns any more any way…(very sad face). I can’t have legumes, and black eyed peas are one of the main ingredients…I really miss beans!
Here come another milestone, I cooked on January 2nd! Stuart helped a little, but I did the main cooking! So excited, I really like to cook, and haven’t been able to in months! I made collard greens (a must in the Southern parts of the US, collard greens represent money, so if you want more money throughout the year, you eat collards, another part of Hoppin’ Johns). But I cooked them a bit differently. I sauteed them with bacon, Mirin Sauce (a sweet rice wine used in Asian cooking), a little Rice Vinegar, and sprinkled with celery seeds. They were very tasty. We planned to have ham, but couldn’t find one that wasn’t way too big, so we cooked up a hot dog for each of us, and I had some left over mashed potatoes. It was actually a pretty darn tasty meal! (before everyone with Meniere’s freaks out about how much salt I ate,the bacon was low salt, and so were the hotdogs, plus I only ate one. However, I’m not sure a low salt diet has helped with my Meniere’s symptoms at all.)
One more good thing happened, but it isn’t finalized yet, so I’m afraid to mention it and jinx it. (It has to do with Stuart…you can probably guess.)
I started to make up a list of things I want to accomplish in 2012, but didn’t get far. I realize I can’t really plan much and just get upset when I can’t accomplish what I plan to. I really, want to lose some of this weight, and be able to exercise some. This I will figure out how to do! Even if I get to be just as sick as I was for the past 6 months, I’m going to figure out how to exercise.
As you see at the top, Stuart took pictures of me on New Year’s Eve, when I saw them I cried. I thought, that can’t be me! This woman is so overweight, and old. I don’t want to feel that way about me. I have to find a way to get my body image self esteem back. The picture I published at the top was the best. There is another that I feel shows every hard thing I’ve been through over the past couple of years. Following you will see a photo of me that was taken just before all of this started happening, and the photo that was taken on New Year’s Eve that I feel, shows the pain I’ve endured. I’m only showing these to show how much I’ve changed in a relatively short period of time.
**I’d like to say, the weight bothers me mostly because of the added health issues. I now have non-alcoholic fatty liver, and very high triglycerides. I will not be able to get control of these until some of the weight comes off and I can exercise. Yes, my body image has taken a bit of a hit, but my husband thinks I’m beautiful, and desirable so that’s a confidence booster. However, the fact that I get out of breath so easily, and have a hard time getting up at times. (the tub is a big challenge.) With my hip issues, added weight is not a good idea.
My dear, dear friends, thank you so much for the very kind words that you said about me after my last post.
I kept reading these comments, thinking…”Yeah, I like that about me too!: Some I hadn’t thought of, but realized after reading them, that yes, that is a part of me. It made me realize, I can write the list as 20 things I like about Me. I just needed a little push to remember some of those things. Thank you! And I guess, after this past two years, I needed to hear that there were still some things about me that others think are likable. Thank You Again!
I sat down and had a talk with myself. It went something like this….”OK Wendy, you’ve been telling people you will just change your expectations of life, since things aren’t what you expected. Now, You didn’t mean you’d expect things to be bad…no Mam! You simply think things are different, and you can work with that. You are strong, and you can find the light that will lead you out of this tunnel! So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get moving again! Remember, success is getting up once more often than you fall down.” (yes, when I talk to myself I have a VERY Southern accent, it comes out any time I get angy. I am originally from Charleston, SC after all.)
So I made a plan. I have been so sick for so long, I haven’t been taking the best care of myself. Partially because I couldn’t for a while, but some days because, I just didn’t have the drive. I thought, what’s the use, I can’t do anything. Why get dressed? Why shower? Why do much of anything? Even on the days when I could (Physically)….sometimes I just couldn’t (Emotionally). After my little talk with myself, I decided, it doesn’t matter if I have nowhere to go, if I can get out of bed Physically, I will take care of myself more. I will get dressed every day, even if I don’t step foot outside. If at all possible, I will at least go downstairs to work on the computer and do my artwork. I will try…very, very hard to get out of the house more often, even if it’s just to walk to the mailbox and back. And last, but certainly not least, I will try my best to be around people more often.
Pretty big change from my last post huh? Sometimes I think I need to hit that dark place, to make me realize I need to pull myself out of it. This was a slow decent to a place I was scared of, and I didn’t like myself one little bit. A friend of mine once told me that he admired how I could pull myself out of times like these. It isn’t easy. (plus I’ve been through a LOT of therapy!) I have bipolar disorder, I can tell when depression is enveloping me, just as I can tell when I’m starting to fly in with the mania. My psychiatrist once told me that I was more in tuned with myself than any patient he had, I’m grateful for that. If I feel I’m swinging one way or the other, first I tell myself…this will pass! I will NOT feel like this forever. Then I try some exercises my therapist has helped me with, or I meditate, or I read something I find helps…I try to help myself before things get too one-sided. If I can’t then I get on the phone and call my psych! That’s what he’s there for. Luckily, I didn’t have to do that this time. My pep talk to myself, the affirmations I got from my friends here, and reading some Buddhist teachings, helped to pull me out of it. (and I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week, so I knew if that didn’t work, he would be there for me.)
One day, I’ll write more about being bipolar. I’m lucky I am stable, have been for years now. When I feel one emotion going too extreme, I know what to do. I recognize it and can get help before I get to the breaking point. However, I had a lot of struggles to get here, and there are many people out there who aren’t as lucky as I am. I think the one factor that made the biggest difference in my life with this disease, is finding the right psychiatrist and therapist. I’ve seen a few, but they weren’t a good fit with me. It’s very hard to understand that when you are ill, but I finally realized if I’m not comfortable with the person treating me, I shouldn’t stay with them. Now I don’t mean, my therapist said something I didn’t want to hear, so I left. I mean, our personalities didn’t mesh, I didn’t feel I could trust one of them….have you ever been with someone and they gave you this funny tummy feeling? Like something just isn’t right? That’s what I mean, that tells me that things aren’t going to work. Finally I got a good match, and that made all the difference.
So…I took my own advise today, and got up, took care of my personal needs, got dressed, put on make-up!, and then I rested! Whew, that was a work out!
Hubby needed to run some errands, so I decided to get out of the house. Today I had the least amount of disequilibrium I’ve had in a very long time! Mainly only when I bent over, or turned my head too fast. Luckily, I didn’t do that very often.
We went and dropped off some donations, and I bought a pair of shoes, and a purse at Goodwill for $5.00!! I love Thrift Stores!! We went to Michael’s to exchange a picture frame for the right size. Had lunch out. That’s always a challenge with my hearing, and food issues. So we went to a place that has one thing I know I can eat safely, I let Stuart order for me so I didn’t have to try to hear the person taking my order, and we sat where no one would be behind me, and a little away from as many people as we could. It made things much easier. I found if there is a lot of noise in a place I get dizzier. On top of the anxiety I’m feeling because I can’t hear, it really makes it hard…but I did it! We also dropped by the grocery store for a few things. A busy day. However, we took our time. I took rest breaks, and I don’t feel I over did it! We’ll find out tomorrow.
Once more I want to thank you all for being so kind, and helping me out by telling me things you like about me. Please know you are very special people. Look at how you reached out to help me! How you support me and others. Please know, that you are loved.
My this New Year bring all of us greater health, happiness, prosperity, and love! (and anything I may have left out that you are wishing for!)
Today, we washed my hair! Wow, a bit of an ordeal, but it was worth it! I’m glad I have dry hair, but even my hair was beginning to get a bit gross after 17 days of not being washed! (I can hear the collective…”Ewwww” from all of you right now!) I did use a bit of the dry shampoo, but it didn’t work that great, it’s hard to use on long hair.
I wish I would have had one of these…in my size.
I’ve realized that when we go in for surgery and ask the doctor what to expect, he can’t know for sure. Every person is different, and every surgery is different. I had the same surgery by the same surgeon on both ears, and the recovery was as different as could be!
I do hope they both have a high results rate! I really want to stop spinning multiple times a week…ummm day!
Vertigo bad! Standing, walking, washing hair…Good!
a great milestone today. (must make note, have to remember how important each little accomplishment is.)
Do you ever feel like you have accepted everything, are doing well, being productive….ect. Then have a dream of what you were like in your old life? That happened to me last night. I’ve been a bit melancholy all day. Next Post…I’ll tell you about it. Warning, it will be another T.M.I. post. Sex will be included.)
Here’s to clean hair!!
Every day since I started having the constant vertigo, I have tried to slowly raise myself in bed to the point where the vertigo wouldn’t stop then I’d got back flat.
This evening, I slowing got myself on an incline, then scooted up some more…and more….and I was sitting, without the world spinning.
Not only that, I pushed it even further!
I went to the bathroom without falling, or spinning!! I made it back to bed too!
I giggled the whole time!!!
I still have a lot of disequilibrium, and couldn’t move very fast, but the vertigo stayed away. It might not have if I hadn’t taken it as slowly as I did…but it’s much better than yesterday!
Sharon at Bed, Body, and Beyond is hosting the PFAM (Patients for a Moment) blog carnival this go round, and she asked, why do we write? The carnival will be posted on December 7th, be sure to go by there and find out why other’s write, and what they write about.
I’m an artist, not a professional writer, I never really considered writing anything that was meant for others to read. I kept a journal, off and on, for years. Now and then, I still find little books with partially filled pages buried deep in a box, little segments of my life, meant for no one’s eyes but mine.
The first thing I wrote that was intended for other’s to hear (or read) was a poem I wrote the day my mother died. This became the largest part of her eulogy. A poem I still cherish to this day, it’s not professional, it’s not prize worthy, but it comes from my heart, and it helped me get through the first few hours of saying goodbye to my mom.
Memories of Mom and Me
After that day, I filled many more journals with not just accounts of the day, but prose. Still, only for my eyes, or to be shared by a very select few.
For years I’ve had health problems..too many to mention. I wrote about this – privately. Then a few years ago I found out I couldn’t eat gluten. It appeared that this little ingredient in so many foods was one of the things making me sick. I started learning a whole new way to eat, to cook, to shop, to talk to wait staff…ect. I started a little blog to help me keep up with recipes, places I’d eaten, products I tried, all of my experiences being gluten-free. At first it was private, I only wrote for my information. Then I noticed other gluten-free blogs and thought others could benefit from the things I was learning…and that started me on a road to writing publicly.
My gluten-free blog was pretty popular, but I started having other health issues, and even found out I had another food intolerance. Not only did I feel that the gluten-free blog no longer fulfilled what I needed, I didn’t think I could put as much time and effort into it. So that blog had to change.
I started having more issues with Meniere’s Disease. However, it wasn’t ruling my life…yet. So I decided I wanted to start a blog about getting healthier. Yes, I was going to take a year to focus on my health and fix things. My body had other ideas, so 365 Days to a Healthier Me, changed to Picnic with Ants.
With this blog, I have thrived. I started writing this blog to tell my story, living with chronic illnesses. To get it all out before I exploded. Then I found others who understood what I was going through. I found support, and friendship, things I never expected to find, simply by writing about my life with all its struggles, dreams, hopes, milestones….
I found myself opening up and telling the nitty-gritty honest description of my emotions, and my diseases. What my Meniere’s attacks are really like, how it feels to find that your husband is now your caregiver, how losing your hearing changes your life, how having chronic pelvic and hip pain affects your sex life, what it means to be bi-polar and (mostly) stable….I write about my life, and how I strive to live it to the fullest, with chronic illnesses.
I tell everything, in detail, not just to get it out, and find support or give support, I use it to explain to those who have no idea what we go through. I have become an advocate for myself and for others with chronic issues. I’m even considering writing a book detailing different people’s experiences living with an invisible illness.
Today was absolutely beautiful, and I woke up without a headache…(meaning a little bit of a headache, like normal, but no where near like I’ve been having lately…yes, I always have a headache, sometimes it’s just much, much worse than other days.)
The weather was gorgeous, in the low 70′s (F), with a slight breeze. The leaves are starting to fall off the trees. I took my lunch out on the back porch and enjoyed the sun and warmth. There was a gust of wind and a flurry of leaves blew over head, it reminded me of a scene from Winnie the Pooh’s Blustery Day, however, my day was not that blustery. I had a giggle.
We decided since I was having such a good day, we would go somewhere. We went to the little mall near our place, and bought Stuart 2 new ties for him to wear to interviews. They are a bit bold, and show more of his personality. I think they show confidence! I hope the people he interviews with also thinks so. (today was Stuart’s last day of work, just a couple of hours really, turned in his computer and told them where he left off. The owner said he felt so bad, but he had realized if they had one bad month they would be in trouble. They have decided to put the project Stuart was working on, on hold…so no reason for Stuart to be there. Stuart is so great about it. I think it’s the Buddhist in him, I’m not as philosophical…but I’m trying.)
Today, we didn’t think too much about that! We walked the mall, window shopping. Then we needed to go by Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things, yes, I don’t really like shopping at Wal-Mart either but it’s 1 mile from our house, so convenience sometimes wins. Unfortunately, I really used up most my energy in the mall, and shouldn’t have gone to Wal-Mart. We stayed there much longer than I should have. By the time I got home, things were spinning a bit, especially if I moved my head too fast. I bent down to feel the dog, and the world when Whoosh! I’ve been lying down since then.
I had a great day! Lived it to the fullest. (yes, going to the store is living it up for me.) However, I really need to learn where my cut off point is. I push myself beyond my limit way too often. If I feel good, I take advantage of it. Hopefully, I won’t be paying for it tomorrow.
Right now, my hip hurts, my back hurts, my tail bone hurts, my head is starting to hurt (worse), and I’m very off-balance. Think I over did it? Yeah, me too.
So how do you learn what’s enough? Often I don’t feel that tired, or hurt that much, until I stop. Do you know what your limits are?
With the holidays coming up, I really need to figure this out. Right now, I’m thinking, we won’t be going to any parties. We may try to have a few people over to our house We think it would be better in my controlled environment, I can go lie down if I need to. Or I can get away from noise if I need to.
Thanks for any advice.
Think I’ll be posting more about how to handle the holidays soon.
This post is for the Chronic Babe Blog Carnival all about Gratitude.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. Everyone here knows the people I’m grateful for…my dear blogging friends, the friends who have stuck by me…and most of all my precious husband.
I could write an entire blog post on how grateful I am to my husband for all he does, but I think I gush about him enough.
One of the biggest things I’m grateful for is this blog! Picnic with Ants…gives me a place to get out my emotions, to know I’m not alone, to work out problems, to make other’s aware of what my Ant’s are…especially Meniere’s Disease. When I started this blog I was fighting my illnesses tooth and nail. Thanks to my friends on here, I’ve learned to accept them as a part of me. No they don’t define me, but they are a part of me, and I will learn to walk with them. That in no way means I’ve given up, it simply means I accept this time in my life.
This is a safe place for me. A place where I can be myself, and if people don’t like it they don’t have to read it, however, I’ve very grateful for those of you who do.
At times I realize I’m grateful to be in this place I am right now. In a way, yes, I’m grateful for this disease, we call Meniere’s…and my list of other conditions.
I have learned so much during my struggles with chronic illnesses. I’ve always been a compassionate person, but I think I’m more compassionate.
I notice things I didn’t really see before. I’m grateful to my doctors who are trying everything to give me some relief. To the staff at Duke for all the things they do that I don’t even see. I’m grateful for the orderly who was so kind to me while wheeling me to the recovery room, and stopped by later just to make sure I was alright. I’m grateful to the guy at my grocery store who knows I’m hearing impaired and will make sure he looks straight at me when he talks and enunciates his words so I can read his lips if I can’t hear what he’s saying. I’m grateful for the technology that is available today,my computer, my hearing aid…and possibly in the future a cochlear implant. All different technologies, but all help me communicate so much better than I could without them.
I’m also grateful
- I can still appreciate the seasons
- I can still read and escape in a book.
- I can research doctors, illnesses, treatments…just think a few years ago we couldn’t do that as easily as we can now.
- I have doctors who don’t mind questions I have, are thrilled that I’ve researched my condition, and who genuinely care.
- I have health insurance…and that bothers me, it just shouldn’t matter…but it does.
- that things continue to change. One day I may be very depressed and blue, but the next day I may see the sun and find the clouds that were so thick over my head are clearing.
- For my dog and cat…especially my dog. She has been with me for 18 years, she’s now 19. A year and 4 months ago we were told she had a very aggressive form of bladder cancer, they couldn’t operate, and she would last at most another year, probably much less. She doesn’t show any signs of slowing down. I guess no one told her she was sick. : )