Yes, I am coughing a lot again. I’ve been coughing for quite some time, it got better, but it has gotten worse again. So much so I had a hard time swallowing because my throat has been so raw.
It started getting worse on Friday, I saw the doctor yesterday. She says my Asthma is not uncontrolled. So I’m on a different inhaler for a while, she said I’d probably start to feel better in about 4 days, I know I slept better last night. Thank goodness.
This issue has been causing a lot of symptoms that we thought were from my other illnesses. I have not been getting enough oxygen, they tested it yesterday and it was at 95%, not bad, but not great…..and I wasn’t having an attack, so my oxygen levels will drop a lot during those times. I was also given another test…and frankly I’m not sure what it was called, I had a hard time hearing the doctor, her frequency just wasn’t hitting right. Anyways, the test showed how much air you can expel when you blow out as hard as you can. It was supposed to read 380, the highest I could get it was 300, I had to blow 3 times, and I almost passed out.
So what does this mean? Not getting enough oxygen, and not having my lungs working properly can be causing a lot of my dizziness lately. Especially when I go from sitting to standing. I was getting worried because I can’t walk from one room to the other without getting winded and the room starts to move. I thought the getting winded was because I can’t really do cardio, it hurts my head too much….it raises my CSF pressure. But now I found out that I’m getting winded so easily because I’m not getting enough oxygen. I also found out this is probably why I’m so exhausted and lethargic all the time. I sleep so much, and have no energy to do much of anything except maybe watch TV, and sometimes read. But reading takes comprehension and recall, things I simply haven’t had lately.
Having your oxygen levels just a little bit lower than it should be can really cause havoc. I knew my mother was going through a lot when she had lung cancer, and her oxygen levels were low, but I feel so much more for what she had to put up with. I remember the insurance company not wanting to pay for my mother to have oxygen at home…I don’t remember what level they said she had to have but her’s wasn’t low enough. I can’t imagine losing any more breath than I have and being told I can’t get help. Luckily her doctor called the insurance company and wanted to know how they could say what her patient needed when they aren’t doctors and haven’t examined her. She demanded that my mother get oxygen, and she did. I was impressed with her doctor for that…for some other things, well she took good care of my mother, but she did not handle things well. But that’s for another rant sometime.
So my dear friends, I haven’t meant to stay away so long, or so often. I simply haven’t had the energy. For example, today I woke around 11am, I went back to sleep about 1pm, I woke coughing and sick to my stomach about 3:30pm….it’s now 5pm. It’s the end of the day for most people, and I’ve only been awake for a total of 3 1/2 hours. I will probably stay awake for a few more hours, but I’ll be asleep by 11pm at the latest. You can do the math to see how many waking hours I will have today, it’s too hard for me to think that much.
Update on other things. My darling hubby hasn’t found a job, but he has a phone interview tomorrow, and he had a long talk with a recruiter today (they really think he’d be “perfect” for that job, but we’d have to move to Nashville….if he thinks he’ll be happy, I’ll live anywhere. The big worry he has is leaving me alone all day. He’s worked at home for years now, even before I got sick. I think it will be good for him to get out and go to an office…..I’ll be fine, or I’ll hire someone to come stay with me. Another big worry about Nashville…my doctor’s aren’t there. I’d have to try to find a Neurologist that’s a headache pain specialist because I have to get the Botox shots every 3 months, and I can’t see Stuart taking a day off every 3 months to bring me to Durham. I’d keep my ear doc, after having the second CI implant…..(I still don’t know when, I’ve had to cancel many appointments with him..dang-it.)…I won’t have to see him very often unless something goes wrong. And it just won’t…enough of that!
I mentioned the Botox shots, I got my happy little Botox bee stings on the 7th, and I’m a happy camper! Oh my goodness those things sure do make a difference. I’ve gone from having pretty much, NO, pain free days, to mostly pain free or very low pain days. I’m not afraid I’m going to run out of medication, so I take it earlier and abort the migraine before it takes hold and ruins my life. My doctor also prescribed an NSAID shot that Stuart can give me if I have a really bad headache or have one that last more days. That makes me feel good to know that it’s available. She also prescribed a muscle relaxer….after I asked about it….I feel that my migraines last longer because I tighten up so much during it and just can loosen up even after I’ve taken my migraine meds. She said they do often use that as a cocktail to help. And it has helped! I can’t take pain medication any longer…..unless I want to itch for at least a day. For some reason, I’ve become very sensitive to pain medication. We’ve pretty much tried them all, but since they are mostly all opioids I’m having a lot of the same problems with all of them. And I can’t take NSAIDs by mouth, my tummy does not like them! So that put a big dent in how I could fight my migraines. Now I feel we are on the right track. I hope the Botox last a good while….I don’t want to be bombarded with migraines before it’s time to visit the Botox Bees.
There we have it, an update on my little family……oh Max is doing fine, right now he’s trying to push my laptop off my lap. He loves me so much more when I’m doing something.
We’ve been home almost two weeks, it doesn’t feel that long to me. The first few days I felt better, just exhausted, so I rested a lot. Then I started feeling wonky, and having a lot of migraines. Nearly every day I turn to Stuart and say, “It’s not a good day.” The disequilibrium has been so very bad, I’ve only been on the computer once since I’ve been home. (I hope I haven’t had any important emails). When I try to read on the computer I feel car sick. I can’t stay on for very long, but today I’m going to try to do some things, a little bit at a time. I also haven’t been out of bed other than to go to the bathroom except one day, and I didn’t last long. I think I’d try to venture out more if we didn’t have someone staying with us. (our house sitter asked to stay until June 14th, she’s moving then, and Stuart said yes….long story). It terrifies me to have an attack in front of someone other than Stuart, or a doctor. Even doctor’s make me uneasy. So, going downstairs takes a lot of courage right now. (not that she’s here all the time, but I’m still uneasy). Don’t get me wrong, I do like her, but right now I would feel this way about anyone staying here. I’m simply not having good days.
There really isn’t much more to say today, I wanted all to know I’m still alive. I’m going through a time of change. We’ll see where it leads, but Picnic With Ants may change considerably.
I can tell I’m very depressed, and have been for months. Last year was very difficult for me, and the beginning of this year hasn’t been a walk in the park. I see my new psychiatrist on Thursday, I think, I’m anxious to see if she has any suggestions. I’m really tired of doctors telling me that if I could exercise more it would help my moods….well I can’t, so what am I supposed to do?
I have lot’s of doctor’s appointments over the next two weeks. I’m overwhelmed just thinking about it. Hopefully, all will go smoothly.
Thanks for staying around. I feel like I’ve lost so much over the last year…or more… But that’s for another post.
This is the third attempt at writing this post.
So I shall not try to explain things, or guess at things, I’m just going to tell what is happening.
Vertigo!!! Nearly constant. mini spins, mid-line spinning, and horrendous attacks. When I was diagnosed with Meniere’s I was told it could be one of the worst things you can get that won’t kill you, but you may wish it would.
For the past few weeks, I wish it would.
I’m so miserable. I can’t walk without aid, and then it’s very difficult. I often can’t move my head without going into a full swing. Right now I’m having a decent moment, so I’m trying to write.
I’m scared. I went to a doctor here, and he thinks it’s allergies. (I’m not so sure, I take 3 different meds for my allergies.) He put me on steroids and gave me drops to reduce the inflammation. No infection was seen. I feel have been worse since starting the medication. I’m supposed to see him again on Friday, the 21st, but Stuart is calling him tomorrow.
I can’t be left alone. We are having a hard time. Stuart needs to leave to go grocery shopping and such, but it’s almost impossible. He left for a bit last night to shop, and I ended up spinning and terrified. I called him, but of course I could hear when he answered, I just kept saying help. He found me in a lump on the floor. I know it scared him as much as it did me. I am not prepared to take care of these attacks by myself. I know I have, but it is terrifying even with help.
We came to Tucson hoping I would feel better here. Oh how wrong I was! I never thought I would feel worse! The same maybe, but not worse. I’ve seen family once the whole time we have been here. I haven’t seen any friends. I’m just so sick. I often can’t even move my head.
I want to be home where my doctors are. I don’t know if Tucson is doing this to me, or if it would have happened any way, but either way, I want my doctors! But now, I don’t know how we would get home. Riding in a car is torture. I can only imagine what riding in a plane would be like. I often can’t lift my head without spinning very fast.
So that’s all I can write for now.
I made a huge mistake, I should never have left NC. Having family and friends close here is nice, we do have some people we can call on…but this is new to them, how long would the charity last? At home we don’t really have a support system….but I have my doctors….and that’s important! If I could have the support from those here, and my doctors in the same place, I would be a much happier person.
Anyone reading this who are close to us now. Stuart could really use some help….it’s hard for him to admit, but he is overwhelmed by all of this, I can tell.
(also my migraines are back with a vengeance. I think the Botox has worn off. It really seemed to help for a while!)
I always hoped I’d never need it. When I made up my emergency kit it was more a peace of mind thing, not a real thought that I’d ever need it. On Wednesday, I was so grateful I had that emergency kit! (TMI -This post contains information that may be too much for some people.)
The day started off so wonderful. You can see that in the last post….but later that afternoon I was hit with an attack, and I was in public! We decided to go out and check out a few stores that carry allergy friendly foods, but we were hungry and thought we’d grab a bite to eat. (yes I know, too much food out…too much sodium! But I had steamed chicken with vegetables and rice, no sauce….I ordered smart!) We were sitting in the restaurant and Stuart pointed out something to my left and over my head, I glanced at it and everything spun around. It scared the mess out of me! First I started to panic, then I felt it was slowing down. I thought it was Migraine Associated Vertigo and would pass after I took my migraine medication and emergency pills. Boy was I wrong! I took the pills and things didn’t get better. I was getting sick. Very sick, and the world was spinning faster and faster. I handed Stuart my purse and asked him to get my emergency kit. I needed to cool down, and I needed something to throw up in (just in case). I have cold packs in my emergency kit that turn cold when you twist them…or hit them really hard. This was a wonderful thing. I needed to cool down my core fast. We left the restaurant as soon as I could stand. It had slowed down so I thought the medication was finally working and we could get home with minimal discomfort.
I was VERY wrong again! We drove a ways fairly well, then the spinning got so much worse. I couldn’t stand the car moving. I asked Stuart to stop the car, he couldn’t stop where we were, and I started to panic….”Please just stop the car!” It was torture. I was actually screaming before he could get stopped. He stopped. Later he told me he was not in the best spot. It was pretty public and he knew I’d feel uncomfortable. Frankly, I didn’t care, nor did I notice. I was throwing up (thank goodness for those little garbage bags I packed in the Emergency kit), and I was losing control of my bladder. I was devastated. We were in Stuart’s father’s car, it had just been detailed….I mean like an hour before we left in it….it has leather seats! How could this be happening to me, in my father-in-law’s Lexus? (luckily it was his older car, but still, leather seats!!) Stuart swears when he went to clean it up, there was nothing on the seat, and no vomit anywhere. I did miss some the last time and got it on me. I’m so glad I was wearing a reusable pad, I use them for my menstrual cycle, but I also use them most of the time in case I sneeze or cough and pee a little.
We got home, and got me inside. I collapsed on the couch and passed out. I woke up an hour later gagging, but didn’t throw up. My body was spasming, it feels like I’m convulsing (not that I’d know what that feels like first hand), this lasted what felt like hours. I got very scared. I was having a hard time breathing with the spasms, and for the first time during one of these attacks I was afraid of dying. Then i passed out again, but only for a few minutes. When I came to, I decided I wanted to try to get to the bed. We succeeded. Not without much difficulty, but I was out after that for a few hours.
I know most of you have heard my horror stories of my vertigo attacks before, but the main part of this recount is how much my emergency kit helped. In it I have cold packs (to cool me down), small trash bags (to throw up in), large Ziploc bags (to put the soiled items in…and bags that have throw-up in them), wash cloths (to wipe my mouth, and help cool me down when they are wet), extra meds (we always have my emergency pills on us, this is an extra safe guard and it has more meds than I usually carry), a card explaining what is happening to me…and I keep a water bottle with me (normally this is just to drink from, but when I’m having an attack it helps to wet wash cloths and I need to rinse my mouth).
I will never think I can go without that kit again. I was recently thinking it was taking up too much room in my bag, no more! If I go out with nothing else, I will have my kit!
I’ve been working on this post since Thursday, the day after it happened. I’ve had days and days of extreme disequilibrium. I couldn’t move my head at all without seeing the world move. It was like it just didn’t keep up with my head….strange. I just started walking some unaided yesterday. Today I feel better and can get around by myself, but I still feel a bit wobbly. I’m pretty sure this wasn’t just a Meniere’s attack. My hearing in my right ear did drop significantly, and hasn’t returned to its normal level…that’s weird for me, normally after the attack ends the hearing comes back…at least almost to where it was. We think I had another spinal “blow out”, and my Cerebrospinal Fluid Pressure (CSF) dropped. Stuart suggested the first night after the attack to not take my medication that controls the high CSF, it’s a strong diuretic and I couldn’t afford to lose any more fluids. But I started taking them again the next day after I was sure I was well hydrated. Then things didn’t get better. I was scared that I would feel that way all the time. I was having a big pity party for myself (sorry I didn’t invite you all). Yesterday morning, Sunday, I woke up feeling much better. I took my CSF medication, then I got up and fixed myself some breakfast. After making breakfast I turned and the world spun, dang-it! But it was at that time I realized my CSF pressure was too low. I had all the symptoms…the wooshy head, a headache when standing..ect. I went back to bed and lied down flat and the symptoms lessened and went away. Ah…yep, low CSF. So yesterday I spent the day lying flat. I’m holding off on the high CSF medication until I get signs of high CSF, then I’ll ramp back up on them.
Today I’m feeling much, much better, but still weak. My main goals for the day are a shower, and finishing this post…not necessarily in that order.
I’m sure I’ll feel better and better. The weather here is still gorgeous. We had an overcast day, but it was still nice. Today we have the windows open and are enjoying the fresh air.
Opps I forgot to Publish this…*smiles* So it’s a little out of date, but much of the info is still good. This post was more of a Freeform post….I just sat down and wrote, if I felt like it or not and didn’t re-read or edit so please forgive the errors that I’m sure are in abundance…..so…here’s for a bit of out dated news (I’m pretty much over my cold, it’s still hanging on with Stuart)
You will not believe this, but I thought I finally published this yesterday! I looked today…no it was not there. I think this post is haunted….read at your own risk.
For the past week I’ve been taken over by the cold virus. (you aren’t normally cold when you have a cold…so where did that name come from….and no I really don’t care enough to try to look it up…just pondering.)
My dear sweet husband that does so much for me caught my cold around day 4 of my dreaded mucus maker. He is such a trooper. I can look look at him and tell how bad he feels and how tired he is, but still he would take care of me. I will admit, I have not been able to walk very well since I caught this virus, my ears do not like a head cold! I started feeling better a few days ago (ok, maybe 2), but when I’d try to walk around I’d start spinning. Back in bed for me. So Stuart has been left to nurse his own cold and take care of me too. We’ve had a lot more takeout this week. Honestly, for me, just put my meds close enough and feed me (a lot, this cold has made me ravenous….strange for me when I’m sick!), and I’m ok. I have been sleeping more than I thought possible.
Oh, I must tell this story. I always thought I was very careful with my medications….but I did a really stupid thing the other day. I have my Diamox sitting by my bed because I have to take one as soon as I wake up to keep my cerebrospinal fluid regulated. I reached for it and took a pill….then thought, that pill was way too small. I then really looked at the pill bottle. My prescription for Ambien had been left on my nightstand, instead of in the drawer, and I took one of those. You can guess what happened, I went back to sleep and slept all day! But first I decided I should try to do a couple of things….like answer some emails….not the best idea. My husband also told me of one thing that happened that I don’t remember at all. Yes, I thought I had always been very careful with my medication, but I will me much more diligent now!
As a result of this cold I shared with my hubby, we have decided to post pone our leaving for Arizona by a week. We should be leaving on the 3rd now. The cold just put us way behind in getting things ready to go.
It also postponed my hair appointment. So it’s still long. And I may keep some length. The test results didn’t show any reason that I should be losing my hair, and my doctor said I may want to see a dermatologist. But she also put me on Biotin. I changed my shampoo and condition to one that is supposed to give you more lift or something, I got a real boar’s hair brush, and I’m taking the Biotin. Much to my surprise, I looked at the back of my hair this morning and I couldn’t see scalp. I asked Stuart and he said he didn’t see the “balding” spot I’ve had for a while now. My hair seems to be getting thicker. So….my hair appointment has been changed to Halloween. We’ll see what happens. Stuart said it could be a horror, or perhaps magical. (the magical suggestion came after I told him he was mean and scaring me.)
I’m a bit disappointed we are leaving later now. I love Halloween, and I’m not prepared for it. The house isn’t decorated, I have no costume, I don’t have the treat bags put together, and would need to purchase more stuff. I think our house will lose its reputation this year. (the first year we lived here we had less than 20 kids Trick or Treating….last year we had about 100, they come from different neighborhoods to come to our house….it has kind of gotten a little out of hand….but I love it!) But I’m not prepared! This year, the kids will just get candy. (normally, they all get treat bags…made for different age groups…with things like pencils, stickers, Play-doh, glow sticks, temporary tattoos…..all kinds of things….plus they get candy.) yes, my house is the house to come to! We often have a grave yard set up with a fog machine….oh I love Halloween. The decorations are just so cool.
Yes, I’m rambling a bit. I’m still tired from my cold and when I’m tired I ramble….or sleep…..I think that’s next. No wait, I’m hungry!
BTW: I always buy my treat bag goodies right after Halloween for the next year, I don’t spend a lot….and it’s really worth it to see how the children love them.
Where have I been you ask? Or perhaps you haven’t noticed (don’t tell me, I want to think I was missed) I haven’t been commenting as much on other blogs, or chatting away on mine (I know for a while I’ve been a little silent here so you probably didn’t notice), I haven’t even been able to answer emails in a timely manner. I logged on today and I had over 230+ emails in my inbox. Normally there are about 30…so how many days has it been??
I’ve been much sicker, if that’s the word to use, lately. I’m not really sick, it’s my chronic stuff, plus a little oops added in. First I’ll tell about my oops.
I know in my last post 30 things you may not know….. I mentioned how hard it is for me to wash my hair. It’s normally easier in the bathtub than the shower (I’ve fallen too many times in the shower), but I’ve decided that my bathtub is evil. I’ve had heart palpitations in the tub and nearly passed out, I’ve slipped a few times trying to get out, once I smacked my head against the wall. My latest fight with the tub? I pulled the tendons in my left ankle, and knocked everything out of whack on that side from my foot to my lower back, while I was lying in the tub. Yes, I said, LYING IN THE TUB! Only me right? Ok, it was a little more than just lying still. I had scooted down in the tub to rinse my hair, then I pushed with my feet to scoot up – my left foot slipped and went in a direction it shouldn’t have. But I must say, it really didn’t hurt. When I got out of the tub I could stand fine as long as I didn’t go up on my toes. So I’m thinking, no big deal. Then Stuart looked at my ankle and said, “Oh My!”. My ankle was very swollen!! My lower back hurt, but my ankle really didn’t. If you touched the swollen area it hurt, but not much. This happened last Friday night. On Wednesday the swelling was down and I had a massage, she helped the leg and back, but last night my ankle was swollen again. (not that I’ve been on it, I had vertigo all day yesterday so I was in the bed.) So now you know. I am afraid of my tub and shower….makes it pretty hard to keep up personal hygiene, but I manage….thanks to that darling man of mine.
What else had been causing me frustration and just plan fear lately? I was supposed to have the Botox shots for my migraines on the 18th, my doctor was sick and they had to reschedule….they wanted to make the appointment in November! We are leaving for Tucson, AZ the last week on October, we won’t be here in November. So they scheduled it for October 20th…I cried. I had the worst time with migraines this past month. Right before my period started the pain started…they gave me special medication for that time of the month, it didn’t work. I had 15 days out of 20 were spent in a dark room, often without any hearing device on because the light and sound would make me throw up. Throw in some vertigo, and we have a great party going on. Luckily, the appointment has just been changed to October 3rd. This should be during my period, so it will be a real test. Big problem now? If it works I need to have another shot regimen in 3 months, we won’t be here. I’m not sure I can find a neurologist in Tucson who would be willing to see me just once to give me Botox injections. Actually, I doubt I will be able to, so it will be more like 5 months between injections.
Recently I’ve been having more vertigo, and constant disequilibrium. Frankly, it scares me. I’m pretty sure some of this is Cerebrospinal Fluid Pressure. We changed my medication that controls the high pressure to a times released form instead of the kind I have to take numerous times a day (I kept missing one). Since I’ve been on this new version of this medication I’ve been having symptoms like I did when my pressure was too low. I started back on the regular form of the medication yesterday, I hope this really is what’s wrong. Because the vertigo is scary. I’m proud of myself about how much better I’m dealing with it. I don’t panic as much, I’m sure I would if it was a severe attack. My biggest fear I have is that when a severe attack hits it will never end. I’ll give you an example of my days…Yesterday I woke up to the word spinning, slowly, but still spinning…this went on all day. Luckily, I was able to sleep through some of it. Then when it actually got to be bedtime, I couldn’t sleep. So many things going through my head. I kept thinking, something doesn’t add up….but I’m not sure what…at least I finished Uncle Tom’s Cabin…and still laid awake until 5am. Today, I’m not spinning, but I can’t walk straight. I can’t move my head at a normal speed or I will fall down from the disequilibrium. In the past 48 hours, I’ve been to the bathroom once unaided.
OK…I know this is another venting post. But I’m scared. What if the change in medication doesn’t work? Then why is this happening? We’ll figure it out, or I’ll learn to live with it! Right?
The other night I was talking to Stuart and told him that sometimes I envy people who don’t have to feel like I do. Of course, he said that’s natural, part of self-preservation and all that…. I then told him, I would gladly be the only person in the world who had to feel this way if no one else ever did. And I mean it. The thought that others go through this is heart breaking to me.
I do have some good news about my hearing! (unfortunately I had to cancel the last 3 appointments I’ve had with my audiologist because I was too ill to go, so I can’t tell you what she has to say, but I have some Wow! news.) Stuart got The Lorax DVD from Netflix and we curled up in bed and watched it on the computer. I used the direct link cable and linked the computer sound up to my processor. I didn’t expect to hear any better than I hear the TV, I thought I’d mostly read the movie, as usual (thank goodness for closed captioning!), but this was different! I heard the movie!! I heard the characters the way they were supposed to sound! I really heard it all, just right! Isn’t that amazing? That gives me hope that one day my CI will give me sounds that are normal. Right now, I hear better with it than my hearing aid, but sounds are a bit off, however, I understand things more. It’s coming along! And The Lorax is my new best friend!
It has been a very hard week. I won’t go into details as it concerns people in my family, and I won’t talk about my family on my blog again. I’ve been contemplating all week simply closing my blog and disappearing, or making it private. But that’s stress talking, I’ve found so much support here and I want to think I’ve given a lot of support and information here too. Plus I need a place to go and just get it out. Even when I can’t talk about all of it. Let’s just say, it’s settled for now….maybe.
On the 15th, I got hit with a huge stessor! I was under extreme stress and confusion for hours. Finally, things were calming down. I was relaxing in bed, tying to breathe in the ill feelings I felt towards me, and breathe out happiness and goodness to all. I decided to have a little pineapple Greek yogurt, with a banana and nuts for desert. It is delicious. Well, what I got to eat of it. Right when Stuart brought me my decadence, I had that Wonky feeling in my head…so I took my pills and hoped it was just a blip on the radar. (Yes I know, how could I think of eating if I was feeling Wonky, but I’ve been having a lot of Wonky spells that just turn into nothing lately.) Unfortunately, before I was even finished with my treat the world was in full spin! This was one of the longest attacks I’ve ever had….and one of the strangest. It was Meniere’s, not vertigo caused by a migraine. I went through all the stages…and all the grossness. (some how while throwing up I bashed my elbow on something, and it has had a knot on it since then. It’s getting better, but I was afraid I had broken it the next day.) Again, all the throwing up and losing all bodily functions. Not being able to lift my head, except to put it in a bucket. (I even threw up on our brand new carpet….not much, thank goodness, but Yuck!)
So the vertigo kept changing speeds, it would be wild, so fast I couldn’t recognize the things spinning by, then it would slow down to the point I thought it was going to stop any second….I even dozed off a few times, just to be jerked awake by vicious spinning again! This went on for over 16 hours. Luckily I didn’t throw up the whole time, I did keep heaving though. Even before I threw up the first time, I would have the worst muscle spasms and just heave, like I had dry heaves, but nothing had started yet. This often happens to me when I have an attack, at he beginning at least, I can’t figure out why. Why does it have to hurt so bad??
Even after the spinning stopped for the next day I kept feeling like they would start back up, I couldn’t walk straight. It was a very rough 2 days.
On Friday I had an appointment with my headache pain specialist (neurologist). I was supposed to get Botox shots for my migraines. Many people have had good results from this procedure. I was a bit nervous, they do 31 shots in your head and neck/shoulder area. Alas, I did not get it done. Once again our insurance did not send a pre-approval, they didn’t deny it, but they didn’t approve it either. Just like with the Cochlear Implant. What a pain in the butt that was. Luckily, they did pay for most of it. They didn’t cover a procedure that cost about $500, testing the device after they hooked it up to me to make sure everything worked right. Can you believe? What if they hadn’t tested it, and later found out part of it wasn’t working? I’d have to go through another surgery to replace it. How bizarre. Stuart called the insurance company on Monday, I have been approved for the procedure, it just seems no one knew it. So now I have to get another appointment with this doctor…..hope it’s soon.
Sunday I had another scare. but not with vertigo. Really I wasn’t scared, it’s happened before, and I’ve been checked out, still it’s uncomfortable and yeah, it’s a bit scary. I had heart palpitations. I figured out why, but it lasted a long time. I wasn’t as careful Sunday about what I ate or drank. I do not drink caffeine very often, and if I do, it’s just a little bit. I also don’t eat much sugar. Well…I wasn’t so bright on Sunday. We were out and I had Mandarin Orange Green Tea, not thinking that Green Tea has caffeine. That would have been fine, but later in the day we were at a store and I started feeling funny, and very thirsty, we couldn’t find anything that didn’t have either caffeine or sugar. I decided to take the caffeine since I wasn’t sure if the sugared drinks had fructose. I only drank about half of the soda. After dinner I decided to have some ice cream we bought, it is Fat Free, and I was thinking Sugar Free too. Not bright. I only had about half a cup, but it was enough. I started feeling strange. I thought my blood sugar had dropped, so I ate some protein. But it didn’t work. I was sitting on the couch watching TV with my hubby and I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. The doctor told me to massage one side of my neck, and it should help, she also said to put something cold on my wrist. Well I did both, for a long time. This lasted longer than I was comfortable with. Finally, things slowed down….and all was alright.
I hate how much I have to watch everything I put in my mouth. It would be difficult enough if that was all I had to deal with, but dealing with all my food issues and my other health issues is hard! I’m dealing with it, and I’m lucky I can eat as much as I can…right? I just need to be more diligent.
Well that’s all for this past week.
I promise my next post will be on a happier note.
If you have Meniere’s, I know you know what this title means. For the past few days, (actually I think it’s only been two, but it feels like a week!), I’ve had the wonky, slosh head feeling. I dare not move my head too fast or I’ll fall down, really, I did this yesterday! I haven’t felt like this in a few months, I wonder what has started it now?
Could it be….
- Hormonal Changes? It’s that week, but it hasn’t started yet.
- Missing one of my meds for a day and a half? (that’s 3 doses) This is what Stuart thinks it is, but I’m wondering if part of that isn’t just him feeling guilty because he forgot to go and pick it up. (it was Buspar for anxiety and panic attacks – these started in January, I haven’t felt more anxious the past couple of days, just wonky!)
- The weather? We have had some big weather changes almost every day. We’ll have beautiful clear skies, with a lot of heat…and then we’ll have a lot of rain all of a sudden! But this has been happening for weeks, so why bother me now? (it has been increasing my headaches, but I haven’t noticed the disequilibrium before.)
- It’s just that time? We all know Meniere’s is NOT predictable. So maybe this is just the monster saying hello.
I’m still so grateful that I haven’t felt like this in a while, actually I’m not sure the last time. Not much since the surgery in December. I have to say, I’m thrilled with the results of that surgery. I have only had one mini vertigo attack caused by Meniere’s since my recovery. Yay! The Endolymphatic Sac Surgery was a big success for me.
(I’m still waiting on our insurance company to send the right type of letter to Duke, so I can get my Cochlear Implant surgery scheduled. They have been so evasive about this, how hard is it to say that this is covered under our plan as of this date with an in-network doctor. As long as our plan doesn’t change everything should be the same. NO, they send a letter saying they can’t give a predetermination, because the plan may be canceled or changed, the doctor may not be in-network…ect. They never even say if it’s covered by our plan at the present time! What a pain! So I won’t be getting my CI activated before my birthday….I’m so disappointed.)
I promise to write a post about this whole journey, and show which processors I chose, as soon as I feel a bit less wonky.
Today I’m using a prompt from the Extra prompts they sent us.
Daily Schedule. Write a list of your daily routine from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed. Be honest!
Honestly, I don’t have a set schedule for any day. My days are ruled by my conditions. If I’m having a day filled with vertigo, or migraines I spend the day in bed. If my hearing is way down, I spend the day as alone as possible. I often have doctor’s appointments. My days change from one to the next, a lot. If I’m feeling a bit better, I do more….
Here’s a recent weekend day.
After a restless nights sleep I awake around 9am with a blinding headache. I’m seeing double, with shadow spots on the walls. I take the medication that should lower my CSF pressure(cerebrospinal fluid pressure), and wait to see if it will relieve the pain. My husband brings me some breakfast in bed, along with the rest of my morning medications. The headache has not eased. Finally, I decide I should take some migraine and pain medication also. I try to sleep some more, this time sitting up, hoping my CSF pressure will lessen.
Noon – The headache is still there but much better, I’m hungry, but not sure I’m steady enough to go down the stairs. My husband brings me lunch. I decide to check my email, and do some things on the computer. Focusing up close is much easier than focusing at a distance.
2pm – Time for my next CSF pressure pill. I’m feeling much better, and steadier. We decide to take advantage of this time feeling a bit better. I want to go to the local Co-Op to pick up vegetables and meat for dinners for the week. We had a good trip to the store, and a nice ride home.
4pm – Home. I’m tired just from the little bit of shopping we did, and the ride. I help put the groceries away, and start to plan dinner. I turn and feel the world move. Oh no.
5pm – 9:30pm I have vertigo. This vertigo is caused by the Intracranial Hypertension, not the Meniere’s. I can tell because if I keep my head in one position and concentrate on something still close to me I will stop spinning, but if I move, the vertigo returns. If I was having a vertigo attack from Meniere’s I would not be able to stop it, no matter what.
9:30pm I am completely exhausted from the vertigo attack. Finally, I can move. I eat a little something, and head to bed….with a lot of help from my husband. Take my nightly medications, and try to sleep.
This is a somewhat normal day. I don’t always have vertigo. I do normally wake up with a blinding headache that often takes hours to get under control. And we always try to take advantage of any time that I’m feeling well enough to do something. (I know going grocery shopping doesn’t sound exciting to most, but I love to cook, so shopping for food is exciting to me.)
“Quick Send Money Now!”
Yes, I have brain disorder,
But, I’m not Stupid!
Cannot Hear the Voice
Startled by the man behind
He assumes I’m rude
Living in Fun House
Is a scary place to live
Not knowing what’s real
The previous Haiku’s all represent health issues I deal with. The first, a little joke about having a brain disorder, Intracranial Hypertension. The second, a challenge about losing my hearing late in life. Of course, anyone who is hearing impaired may have the same struggle, I do not know. And lastly. this haiku talks a bit about living with both Intracranial Hypertension, and Meniere’s. Each cause me to have vertigo and other visual disturbances.
I hope you have enjoyed.