What is going on???
Did we buy a house built on a burial ground? Are we to be cursed forever? I can have positive thoughts and depression in the same day…..yes I am feeling the bipolar bug a biting.
I wanted to write a memorial anniversary post about Sandy on the 18th, but I was losing consciousness at the headache pain neurologist office because I had such a migraine. I couldn’t even wear my hearing technology, I went in deaf, because sounds hurt so much. I had my sunglasses on and a hat to block out as much light as I could. Stuart took care of everything. I passed out twice, once I didn’t know where I was when I came to….and it had only been seconds. I could barely talk, and I can’t even hear my own voice.
It’s those days that make it hard to find the positive. And to top it off……
Stuart got laid off the day before. Out of the blue. Company got some new investors and started restructuring….’nuf said.
I probably have a ton more to say, I have hit some posts here and there….I’m sorry. I still have 400 emails in my inbox. If you have emailed me…I promise I’ll get to it….or resend it please…who knows what is lost in that pile.
My head is hurting so much.
I must get off the computer. I’m not on here every day. I hope after getting back on Botox on the 7th, it will get better…may take a couple of months of treatments.
thank you all of sending healing thoughts my way. I send out health and wellness thoughts to you all each night. I breathe in your pain and out healthy thoughts.
(oh and don’t worry about the Bipolar Bug…I’m seeing both types of exterminations soon…yes I know it can’t be killed, but they can get it more under control. I don’t want to feel like I’m just waiting to die. But days like my trip to the neurologist, I feel like that….or I did. I’m so confused about feelings right now and I know not to trust them. Also hormonal time…so my emotions are being toyed with…as long as I know this, I can handle it.)
(I wanted a cool graphic for this, but just didn’t feel like drawing….in too much pain.)
Thank you to all who have commented here and I haven’t been to your blog, or at least not very often….I care more than I can say.
Invisible Illness Week – 30 things you may not know…
September 10 -16 is National Invisible Awareness Week – If you’d like to get involved check out the official site.
30 things about my illness you may not know.
(warning, some answers may give too much information, but it’s not detailed)
See, I don’t look sick. This photo was taken in 2009, right before my first ear surgery.
- The illness I live with is: The main illnesses I live with are Meniere’s, chronic Migraines, Bipolar I disorder, and chronic hip and pelvic pain. If you are interested in my other illnesses please see the the tab above titled The Ants That Bite.
- I was diagnosed with it in the year: I don’t remember any more. I think I was diagnosed with Meniere’s in 2001, Migraines (I’m not really sure, I’ve had doctors tell me on and off since my teens that I have migraines, but they became chronic in my late 20′s…I’m 49 now), chronic hip pain and pelvic pain – they haven’t figured out what is causing all the pain, so no diagnosis. Bipolar I – 1990 then was told they were wrong – re-diagnosed in 1994.
- But I had symptoms since: Meniere’s – the first attack I remember was in 1993. Migraines – the first one I remember, I was 11. The pelvic pain – in my early 30′s, in the mid 1990′s. The hip pain – 2008. Bipolar – in my teens.
- The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: These are a few major ones for me…. Losing my hearing. Not being able to drive. Not seeing my friends like I used to. Realizing that I will never be cured. Not being able to have a sex life without pain. (but I’ve dealt with, or am dealing with all of these. They will not keep me down.)
- Most people assume: I can do much more than I can, after all, I don’t “look” sick. And some assume I use my illness to get out of social situations, but honestly I hate being so solitary
- The hardest part about mornings are: Never knowing what the day will bring. I often wake up with a blinding headache, I know what that day will bring. But if I wake up feeling decent I never know if I’ll continue to feel that way, or if I’ll be hit with a Meniere’s attack or Migraine. However, I try to make the most out of every day.
- My favorite medical TV show is: Ummm, funny, I used to watch some medical TV shows, but I don’t any longer. I think I see too much of the medical community in person.
- A gadget I couldn’t live without is: I suppose I could “live” with out most gadgets, but there are some I wouldn’t want to! My Cochlear Implant, I can hear so much more now. My laptop -so many of my friends are in there!
- The hardest part about nights are: Trying to sleep, and trying to stay asleep. Fear. Fear of having an attack just as I’m falling asleep (this happens more than I’d like to admit), fear of waking up with a blinding headache……However, each night before I sleep I acknowledge my gratitude for the day, and plan what I’d like to do the next day. I always have hope I will have a good day, and if I don’t I still know I’ll get something out of it.
- Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) 18 daily (this included the total number, not different medications), 5 as needed, 4 vitamins daily, and one B12 shot a week.
- Regarding alternative treatments I: have tried many, including chiropractic, acupuncture, certain vitamin routines…. I found medical massage helps my migraines and hip pain a lot. I also use a special diet to treat gluten and fructose intolerance.
- If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I don’t think anyone would choose to have an illness, but I’ll deal with the hand I’ve been dealt.
- Regarding working and career: I don’t work. I don’t have a career. Takes a lot out of conversations with others. My doctor suggested I look into filing for disability, but I haven’t done it yet.
- People would be surprised to know: I often don’t wash my hair for a month or more. Water on my head is a trigger for me, especially if I have to close my eyes. Luckily, my hair is pretty dry, and it’s long so I just tie it back.
- The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: There are a lot of times I have to say” I can’t” or “no” to people…and to myself. Losing most of my independence. Not being able to drive. And not being able to have a normal sex life.
- Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Find the positive. Become my own advocate. Fire a doctor.
- The commercials about my illness: The only one of my illnesses I’ve seen commercials for is Migraines. Commercials are always drug companies wanting you to talk to your doctor about their drug. I’m not comfortable with this, and normally the side effects they list are pretty scary.
- Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: I miss being able to go places alone. (the answer to this question changes often, but right now, not being able to go anywhere alone is very difficult.)
- It was really hard to have to give up: My hearing. Even with technological help, I have a cochlear implant (CI) and a hearing aid, it is still very hard to hear at times. I know my hearing with the CI will get better, but it has been very hard to loose all my hearing in one ear, and almost all of it in the other. Without technology, I can’t hear anything.
- A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Blogging. Reading a lot! I’ve always liked to read, but now it’s almost an obsession. (thank you to Kym for my Kindle! Oh. another gadget I wouldn’t want to live without.)
- If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: I would be so very thankful!! Then I’d spend a day pampering my husband, in and out of bed. ; )
- My illness has taught me: To be my own advocate. To be more tolerant…I thought I was tolerant before, but I realize I needed a wake up call on that one. That I’m not alone….this one relieves me because I needed to feel that someone understood, but it makes me so sad that others have to go through what I have. And that I can handle much more than I ever thought I could.
- Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Any form of, telling me I’ll get better. “When you get better….”, “You will beat this….” NO, I won’t. This doesn’t go away. I may be able to find something to make it more tolerable, but it will never go away. And often treatments that work, stop working. I also hate it when people say, “You don’t deserve this” I know they are trying to be kind….but I never thought I deserved this! And one more….”But you look so good.“
- But I love it when people: Tell me how they are doing, want my opinion, want to talk to me as a friend…..Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind if someone asks about my illness, if they are interested and want to know more about it. But, sometimes I feel like people forget I’m anything more than my illness.
- My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: This may not be the life I expected, so I’m changing my expectations. I don’t know if this is a quote or anything, it’s simply something I thought one day and it has helped me through accepting a lot of things that have had to change.
- When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Often people who have been recently diagnosed find my blog and it scares them, so I start off telling people: Everyone’s journey with Meniere’s is different. Most do not get to the stage I’m at, so please don’t think you are going to lose your hearing….or any number of things I’ve been though. I’m in the very rare group. I let them know there are many treatments to keep Meniere’s under control, and point them to sites and other bloggers who can give a different perspective. Most importantly, I assure them, they are not alone. They can contact me any time, and there are online groups.
- Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: That my husband and I have gotten even closer. Thank you to our therapist, I think having to go to a therapist about all of this surprised me too. I was not handling losing my independence very well, and hubby wasn’t communicating very well. But by going to a therapist we began to communicate out needs much easier, and recognize our needs. Another big surprise is that people will reach out to me. I’m very surprised that I’ve touched people, and made some honest friendships with people I’ve never met.
- The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: (This does not include things my husband does for me) Come to visit me. It doesn’t happen often, but I do enjoy other people’s company. I hate that I often have to cancel when someone wants to do something with me. I’m already so isolated, and if I have to cancel people often think I don’t want to see them, or I’m just too much trouble. I don’t blame them, most of my friends have families, and they have to work their schedule around a lot of things. So missing a visit makes it harder to make plans the next time.
- I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: Because I have more than one. Some people I love and care about have invisible illnesses. We need to let people know we are still people, but don’t judge us by how we look.
- The fact that you read this list makes me feel: That you care, and maybe you understand some things about me you didn’t before.
Ask me about it!
Question image__by_MultiCurious at deviantArt.com
I got this idea from one of my favorite bloggers LinLori.
I know many of you probably have questions for me, about my Cochlear Implant, any of my health issues…..ranging from Bipolar I to Chronic Pelvic Pain….and the newest diagnosis I haven’t even mentioned here yet….Vulvar Vestibulitis. You may want to ask how I deal with certain things (like grieving for Sandy), or about my relationship with my husband. You may even want to ask about my food issues. Or what my favorite things are….whatever….I’m here to answer your questions. If I possibly can.
Ask anything.
You all know I’m an open book…I don’t mind telling the details…so if you want to know something, now is the time to ask!
Come on ask….you know you want to know.
What to say, when you don’t feel like talking?
Depression by ninykinin via DeviantArt.com
I’m sorry to my followers, my friends, that I have not been around much. I am a bit overwhelmed by so much that has been going on that I haven’t told you about, and I’ve been sucked into a depressive state. I keep trying to pull out of it, I even have a new medication, but I’m still just blah. I wake up in the morning, and often feel awful for the first hour or two, it takes me a while to feel like a real person, then when I actually feel alright, I think what reason do I have to get out of bed?
I don’t find pleasure in the things I used to be so passionate about, like art, cooking, blogging….ect. I do still find pleasure in reading, perhaps it is an escape? I also still find pleasure with my husband, just being next to him makes me feel better.
I will be seeing my psych. tomorrow, I’ll discuss this with him, and we’ll see if I should increase the antidepressant I’m on, or try something else. I’m sure he can help pull me out of this.
If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I’m normally very positive. This turn of emotions has hit me like a wall, I don’t feel like myself. I need to get my positive outlook back.
The ironic thing about this, I’m actually much better. I have the weird feelings when I first wake up, but I think that’s because I’ve been horizontal for so long that my cerebrospinal fluid raises a bit, and I have to sit up for a while, and take my medicine before I feel better.
I’m still having migraines, but they aren’t as intense. I’m still having Migraine Associated Vertigo (MAV), but not as often, and when I do it doesn’t last as long. Maybe I’m just getting the medication in faster, all I know is it’s better. I’m still having chronic migraines though, yes they are better, but they still knock me out of commission for a while, so my doctor is starting a new treatment plan. We want to get it where I’m having much fewer migraines, not just less intense.
No Meniere’s vertigo!
My surgery has FINALLY been scheduled! July 19th, I will receive my bionic ear! (my implant is from Advanced Bionics…so I can literally say I will have a bionic ear!) Two weeks after surgery they will turn on the cochlear implant. (I wrote a post telling all about the processors I chose, but that’s the one WordPress deleted half of, so I need to finish it again…I will try to do that soon, so you can see what will be hooked to the side of my head. I’m sure you are all eager to see that! : ) Just wait until you see it actually on my head!
Other things that have been happening: We got new carpet. We replaced our worn out couch. We had our mattress replaced under warranty…it wouldn’t bounce back. So the house is full of chemical smells, and I’m so sick! I keep trying to stay in rooms with less chemical smells, but I’m still coughing so much my throat is sore, my head hurts, I’m so tired all the time….ect. I’ll be so happy when I can breathe in my own house again!
Tell me is it normal to feel down when you start feeling better? Yes, I’m feeling better but not to the point that I can do everything I want. Since I feel better, I’ve begun to resent that I can’t drive, I can’t have that independence. I hate that Stuart has to be with me for me to leave the house. I know with the uncertainty of vertigo it’s even dangerous for me to walk around the block by my self. I resent that I have to be careful of all the food that I eat. We took a little trip this weekend, and it was so very hard to find food that I could eat. I felt horrible, every time we wanted to eat it was such an ordeal. It’s not so bad locally, we know places that are safe, but I didn’t think about not being able to find safe food on the road. We tried so hard to make sure everything I ate was safe for me, but still I got sick. On the way home we had to stop numerous times so I could run to the bathroom. I was so embarrassed to have that happen in a public restroom. eww.
I used to find it a challenge and a pleasure to cook even with my restrictions. I thought it was interesting to figure out how to change a recipe so I could eat it. Now I resent that I can’t eat some things. That I can’t cook whatever I want. I don’t like this feeling.
Oh, I almost forgot, I had a birthday. July 2nd! My husband is a dear man, he celebrated my birthday for 4 days, and I’m getting my main present today! So, still celebrating… he’s done something sweet for me every day since Friday! He really made up for the one time he forgot my birthday! haha Funny thing, I thought I was turning 50 this year. Stuart and I were walking along one day last month and mentioned my birthday, I said that this one was a big one, he asked why 49 was big for me, I said, “No, I’ll be 50!” He looked at me, and said “No Wendy you will just be 49″. I was sure I was going to be 50! He said, “What year is it?” I said, 2012….Ooooh! I guess I’ll be 50 next year.” How silly was that? Here I’d been telling people for months that I was turning 50 this year! hahaha
Well, I think that’s all I can purge out of myself at the moment.
I will try my best to blog more often, I really want to become passionate about it again. I’ve missed my friends.
Word Cloud – #HAWMC 30
Today’s Prompt: Word Cloud. Make a word cloud or tree with a list of words that come to mind when you think about your blog, health, or interests. Use a thesaurus to make the branches of your “tree” extend further. http://www.wordle.net/
I did a little bit of a different take on this prompt. I hope you like it.
Word Cloud Collage by W. Holcombe 2012, April
Personify Your Health – #HAWMC Day 28
Prompt for today….Personify your health. If your health focus were a person – what would they be like? Describe them. Visually, emotionally, physically, and personality-wise. What kind of person are they?
I’m again using one of the Bonus Prompts. I liked this one more than the original prompt. However, once again, I took a different take on it. Recently I made a mask showing what I looked like on the outside to most people, and then on the inside I showed my true self. I felt this answered all the questions put forth in this prompt, but with a little creative flair.
Some of you have already seen this, but I think it’s worth repeating, and for those who haven’t, I hope you enjoy!
Outside of Maxk. by W. Holcombe
Inside if Mask
by W. Holcombe
Mask Inside Top
W. Holcombe
Mask Inside Bottom
Dinner Invitation – #HAWMC 19
Today’s Prompt: 5 Dinner Guests. Who are 5 people you’d love to have dinner with (living or deceased) and why?
image from http://www.123greetings.com
I thought and thought about this prompt and could think of 5 people, but realized after I invited 2 of them it wouldn’t be fair to the other 3 to have them in attendance, unless they just wanted to talk among themselves.
The first person I would invite would be my mother. She died in 1993.
The second person I would invite would be my husband.
The two most important people in my life, never met.
This is the dinner party I would like to have, I’d like the man I love, to meet my mother.
Of course, now I’m crying and have no idea what else to say in this post…..I’ll try and muddle through…
Let me tell you a little about my mother. My mother and I were always very close. When I was a child we played together, as I got older we told secrets, she always knew when I really needed to talk and she’d take me for a day trip to the beach. I didn’t realize if until years later, but those trips were huge bonding experiences for us. Never did we leave to come home without me unburdening to her whatever was on my mind. She was the kind of mother that all the kids wanted to be around. I often came home to find a friend talking with her. They hadn’t come to see me, they wanted her advice.
I think back over the past 19 years and for many of them I simply can’t believe she wasn’t here. I actually remember her at different events. I can almost hear us planning my wedding. But alas, she wasn’t there. My husband’s mother died just months before we were married. We had an empty seat for both of them beside our fathers. We walked down the aisle together, when we reached our parents I gave one of my flowers (I carried Calla Lillis) to my Stuart for his mother, and I had one for mine….we put them on the empty chairs, and kissed our fathers and continued up the aisle to become joined as husband and wife.
The next day we came back to the park we were married in to have photos taken, they were catching and tagging humming birds. Both of our mother’s loved humming birds. So much so we included the theme in our reception to include our mother’s presence. While they were tagging the migration they allowed me to hold 2 hummingbirds. Yes, I actually got to hold them. You see after they are caught they have to give them sugar-water and they sit in your hand a moment to warm up before they can fly away. We took this as a sign that our mothers were pleased with our union….a little hello if you would.
Can you blame me for wanting my mother to meet this incredible man who has taken care of me so unselfishly, so lovingly for so long now? My mother was my hero growing up, my husband is my hero now!
I know they would adore each other. But to have one dinner together, can you imagine?
All the stories about me growing up? The silly stories Stuart would share with my mother?
The proud moments a mother likes to share.
To share our wedding photos with her….to tell her all about it….
My mother finally seeing me stable (I had been diagnosed with Bipolar I before she died, but I was not completely stable until after she passed away.)
My mother seeing me happy, finally very happy, in spite of what my body is going through, I am happy most of the time……that is if I could stop crying!
and to have my mother hug me and tell me that everything is going to be alright…..oh what I wouldn’t give for that.
I know many of you will say she does see me, and she is always here with me….yes, I know.
But to have my mother and my husband actually meet, and have dinner with me…..that would be the ultimate dream for me.
Dear 16 Year Old Me – HAWMC Day 10
Me at 16.
**warning to readers….this is a graphic letter. Things I really wish someone would have told me and helped me with, some may be offended by the frankness. There may be some major mistakes in the writing, I tried to read it over, but just couldn’t.
Dear 16 year old me.
Hi Wendy….You won’t believe it, but I am now almost 50 years old.
I know you are confused. I know it’s hard to believe that I could be writing you from the future, but please just sit back and listen. I hope to help make these coming times just a little bit easier. Please know, I love you, with all my heart. You will go through times that you don’t like yourself very much, but know you will. I’m just hoping you can start a bit sooner.
Recently you have been very depressed, and confused. Some days you are very happy, a bit euphoric even, and other days you don’t think you can carry on. Everyone thinks you are going though normal teenage hormones, just growing up. You are, but you are also dealing with a bit more. You need to make someone listen. Your mother has always been your best advocate. Sit down with her, talk honestly. Tell her just how depressed you have been and that you need to see a mental health professional. I’ll be blunt, you have Bipolar disorder. Don’t worry, you can be treated. But hopefully, you can catch this much earlier than I did the first time around. In my time line you went through many hard years and many heart breaks. You still live with the fall out from those times. If you can get help now perhaps your life can go much smoother. (much easier.)
If you can’t, there is one thing I suggest…STRONGLY. Be careful with your sex life. You will feel, once you are “soiled”, it isn’t worth the fight. It is. YOU ARE! You will lose your self esteem. You will lose so much. When you get into therapy, finally, you will have a good therapist, but she will not understand. She will acknowledge your past problems with abuse and see you think a man will only care if you give yourself to him. She will say. Sex is ok, but only if you really want to do it. You will often feel that you really want to do it. Please Wait. Wait many times. Wait until the relationship is so much more. Do not jump into a sexual relationship until the relationship is more than just sex. Please take this more seriously than you can believe. It will change your life!!!
Stay close to your mother. Give her a break much more often than you do. Take her off the pedestal. She can’t read your mind, STOP being so passive aggressive. It carries on to other relationships and you don’t need that. You lose her much too early. She encourages you and stays by your side through everything, but unfortunately she doesn’t live to see you completely stable. Savor the years you have. You will be so very close, but you do put her through many worries. Try to lessen those for both of you.
You will start to have some health issues. Hearing issues, vertigo….you think you are having food poison many times…there are many breaks between these sicknesses. You are heading toward a hard fight with a hearing disorder that will cause a lot of balance issues. There really isn’t anything they could do if you found out earlier. So don’t sweat they you don’t find out until later. But if you find out earlier, it might help you in your career.
Dare to be braver. Work harder on your art if you REALLY want to. Don’t be so scared to fail. You will only have a few years to be able to work at this. So if you fail, it’s not a big deal. But if you succeed, and I really think you could, think of how you would feel about you! I believe in you. Looking back, you could have done so much more. Work on your muse! Find what inspires you the most! (oh and in college…start out as an Art Major. add in Art Education, but don’t waste time, if you do you will run out of financial aid before you know it and will not get the education you deserve.
You will have some health issues that change your life….so you change your life to go along with it. You still have a good life. You have a wonderful life, even with everything that you go through, you find a way to make your life meaningful.
You do meet the most wonderful man, and have a joyous life with him…but it won’t happen until you are in your late 30′s, you marry at 41. Do not worry. It happens. Don’t fret. And don’t think there is something wrong with you. Focus on your happiness. This man will stand beside you through all your health issues. You will have a better relationship than you ever thought imaginable. He is worth waiting for.
Focus on YOU.
Study things you want to learn.
Dive into your ART.
Study Yoga…you will love it.
Become as healthy as you can, you will need it later.
Take care of you…And trust your heart…don’t listen to those who are just looking for fun for the moment.
Hopefully, if you listen to this, and get treated early, you will have an easier life.
Don’t take things so seriously….however, when you believe in something, don’t let others pull you away from your beliefs. In that same vein….do not get too caught up in other people’s beliefs without really looking into them. Make sure they are what you believe deep in your heart, and the that the facts are sound.
Question everything.
Love Deep.
Laugh Often.
And Cry Less.
Look for Beauty.
And appreciate Life.
From your future self, who hopes things turn out a bit differently.
With unconditional love, always and forever.
wendy
From the Heart ….#HAWMC Day 5
This is not from a prompt it’s from my heart.
This is on the ugly side. Probably a post with too much information for some. It’s very emotional, and I’m not exactly sure where it will all end…
"Turmoil" computer graphic
wendy holcombe - 2012
I’ve noticed a lot since I have been diagnosed with Intracranial Hypertension that my emotions are a bit out of whack, and I haven’t had the best filter on my mouth. I cry a lot of the time, and try to be as strong as possible. I feel alone and keep reaching out trying to ask for help, but just keep alienating people.
I continue to help others if they need to talk, if they need a shoulder…but my shoulders are just so soggy lately. There are days I feel I have it all under control, my headaches are better, my vision is better, I’m getting around a bit better, so why am I a mess? Why can’t I relate to people like I normally do?
I asked the doctor, is it the condition, the medication side effects, one medication mixing with other medication, do we need to adjust my bipolar medication??? I was told, “Yes. Maybe. It’s complicated.” then I was told, “I’m sorry your condition is not easily fixed.”
Well that’s all well and good, but I’m losing everyone around me. I feel like I’m going insane. I’m so alone, and scared. It’s getting to the point that the only one who will put up with me is my husband. At least I think I do remember to tell him how much I love and appreciate him.
Then the terrors start. I’m terrified of being alone, not all the time, just some of the time. It’s more than that, I’m afraid of being without my husband. (again, not all the time, sometimes I feel very capable, then other times…Panic!!!) What if something happens and he’s not here and I have vertigo and can’t stand up, and can’t stop throwing up, and …… panic, panic….what if I’m upstairs and he’s gone and I can’t go downstairs and my blood sugar is too low and I need to eat, but can’t get down the stairs safely….panic, panic….what if….I Fall??…..what if…..OH remember to BREATHE! There are just so many things he does for me, he has no idea how much easier he makes my life. Often just by being here so I know if I need him, he’s here.
So, what do we do first…how do we sort this out? Already 2 medication changes. Soon another. This week I see my Psychiatrist to see if there is anything we need to change there. Is there any medication that is working against anything. Should we add something to help ease some of this? Will it help?
Does anyone really have any idea?
I do have bipolar I disorder, I know what it feels to not be myself. I know I’m not going through a depressive or manic swing, but I know I’m not myself, and that tells me I need to back away. Unfortunately, I wasn’t listening to that little voice when it first started screaming at me a few weeks ago.
Will I have any friends left at the end of this. I admit I didn’t have many at the beginning. Having a chronic illness for this long is not good for keeping good relationships. No one’s fault really, it’s just very hard. But I’d like to stop alienating the few people I do have supporting me.
Right now, I plan to finish this months writing challenge then take a Hiatus from my blog for a while and try to get this straightened out. I don’t feel like I’m myself lately, and I don’t want to be putting words out there that aren’t really want I want to say.
I hope those of you who have been on the confusing end of my emotions recently can find a way to understand and forgive. After the 1st of May, I plan to just take a break, I hope to see you soon.
Inspiration Quotation “I Believe In You.” – HAWMC Day 2
graphic by w. holcombe 2012
I hear many quotes that I get inspiration from. The one I’m continually inspired from is one I heard over and over again from my mother, “I Believe In You.” After she died, it was a long time before I heard those words again. Now, I’m so grateful to once again hear the same words over and over from my husband.
Those 4 words resonate through my very soul.
“I Believe In You”
Because of these words,
I was the first person in my family to graduate college.
I had the courage to seek help for a mental illness (Bipolar Disorder) that was tearing me apart.
I had the courage to become an artist and show my artwork in a gallery and have a one person show.
I have had the courage to face my chronic illnesses as they have been diagnosed, including Meniere’s disease a vestibular disorder with sudden vertigo and hearing loss, and most recently Intracranial Hypertension a disorder of the brain causing high cerebrospinal fluid. (please know these are very simple explanations of each of these disorders)
I have the courage to face each day as it comes, make the most of each good moment, and realize that at the end of my days I will look back and all these moments will have added up to be a pretty good life.
“I Believe In You.”
Everyone faces their own battles, we all need someone to believe in us.
Who do you believe in?
Have you told them?
Make sure to let them know.
When you are facing a hardship, fighting a battle in your life, it’s easy to give up when you don’t think anyone believes in you. When you have someone pulling for you, someone who believes in you, it’s much harder to give up. Courage comes from belief. Belief in yourself, for some belief in a higher being, but sometimes, we need a little help from someone else. We need to feel a human touch, someone who can reach out and say…”I Believe In You.”
My wish…Go out today, and tell someone special you believe in them!
